I felt ecstatic that I have my parents. The
revelation did not affect me; sure it did at the beginning but I didn’t care.
As long as I have people who want to know why I came late on a Friday or who is
present at Tasha’s party I am happy.
But one issue is constantly bothering me. Who ARE my parents? How could they leave me? What happened to them?
I guess I’ll never find out. And honestly, if they just dumped me into an orphanage, I wouldn’t want to know.
“I’m sorry honey, we wanted to tell you earlier but now… we feel like… like you would be betrayed if we didn’t tell you…” was what I could interpret from my mother’s…from Mrs Dio’s sobbing inhibited dialogue.
“Oh.” It was the only word that summed my feelings.
Ignoring their cries, I staggered whilst precariously walking towards my room. The setting of my house looked strangely unfamiliar. Climbing the stairs felt like a strenuous hike and I wandered around my bedroom after shakily twisting the door knob… aaahhh…I really have to stop saying “my”.
Frankly I didn’t know how to react to this admission and situation. My mind was reeling with the striking events that occurred in my life; that I had enjoyed and yet I had this intuition that something was missing. I loved my life and could easily brush that unknown feeling in the past. That unknown feeling was confirmation. Confirmation that I belong here…to this family. Somewhere, among their abundant love, a string of connection was absent. Now I know.
I am an orphan. I was adopted.
Now I feel like they should have never told me, but hey, not knowing your true identity could be just as bothersome. Respect for my parents had escalated rapidly in a span of one minute. I already admired them for their affection toward me amid their financial problems but knowing that they cared, even if they did not have to, made me have a high regard for them.
But I didn’t-
The door creaked noisily, breaking the deadly silence and snapping me out of my contemplation. As the figures of my parents ambled towards me, I no longer saw them as blood relatives but as my saviour angels. My gratitude for them burst in the form of tears. They immediately embraced me and coaxingly soothed me.
“It’s okay Cheryl; It doesn’t change ANYTHING. ” whispered mum.
“You’re not an orphan; you have your mum and me.” Said dad
My heart remained unchanged but my brain was highlighting the obvious point- That I have no REAL parents. Consciously, I wanted to act in a different manner, in a way that would help my parents, a way where I am meant not trouble them anymore.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“CHERYL! Wake up! You have to go to school!” shouted mom as she industriously applied her make-up, as always.
“I’m already up.” I replied whilst sluggishly ruffling around my bed.
My head instantly became attentive as I replayed yesterday’s event. I recollected the times where I constantly bothered my mother, yet she took it even though she knew all along. It felt very wrong to obey my mum because usually-
“What! You’re up!?” she said wide-eyed.
-I never do what I am told.
As I pulled my hair into a ponytail, my mum looked worried. She gently sat on my bed.
“Are you feeling okay Cheryl?” She spoke whilst idly playing with an unravelled string of my quilt cover.
I found myself smiling.
“Oh, so you don’t want me to do what I am told now?” I retorted.
The creases on her forehead smoothed as her face softened.
“Seriously mom, don’t worry. I’m fine.”
Why wouldn’t I be? Right?
I just wanted to block everything that would or could happen inside the house. Restraining myself to act mature and calm proved too much for me. I just wanted to go outside, to school or whatever. So I hurriedly grabbed my bag and flew out of the house without eating breakfast.
As I walked in solitude, the warmth unexpectedly disappeared. The wind started whip through the trees as the thunder crackled. I paid no attention to it knowing that the weather in Australia was twisted. it never lived up to the forecast; Rain poured in summer and the sun scorched in winter; on some days anyway. I was seriously considering rearranging the names of the seasons in different months.
“Ahh.. Another change in the weather I see” said a familiar voice. As I came to a halt my heart rushed as I knew who it was- the one person who understood everything about me, my best friend- Natasha.
“Tasha!” I cried and thrust into her open warm hands. Her eyes lit upon seeing me. She wore Unlike me she was prepared for the weather. It had been the whole summer holidays and not once did I get to see her as she went to France. We had obviously been in contact through the phone and internet but there’s nothing like real life.
After releasing her from my clutches, i said “I’ve missed you, you idiot.”
Grinning, she said with a fake sigh “I know, it’s hard not to.”
I found myself smiling and for a while the tugging feeling at the pit of my stomach became immobile.
Until I had to think
Hey! I don’t have that tugging feeling anymore.
And, of course, I immediately regretted thinking as it started again.
But one issue is constantly bothering me. Who ARE my parents? How could they leave me? What happened to them?
I guess I’ll never find out. And honestly, if they just dumped me into an orphanage, I wouldn’t want to know.
“I’m sorry honey, we wanted to tell you earlier but now… we feel like… like you would be betrayed if we didn’t tell you…” was what I could interpret from my mother’s…from Mrs Dio’s sobbing inhibited dialogue.
“Oh.” It was the only word that summed my feelings.
Ignoring their cries, I staggered whilst precariously walking towards my room. The setting of my house looked strangely unfamiliar. Climbing the stairs felt like a strenuous hike and I wandered around my bedroom after shakily twisting the door knob… aaahhh…I really have to stop saying “my”.
Frankly I didn’t know how to react to this admission and situation. My mind was reeling with the striking events that occurred in my life; that I had enjoyed and yet I had this intuition that something was missing. I loved my life and could easily brush that unknown feeling in the past. That unknown feeling was confirmation. Confirmation that I belong here…to this family. Somewhere, among their abundant love, a string of connection was absent. Now I know.
I am an orphan. I was adopted.
Now I feel like they should have never told me, but hey, not knowing your true identity could be just as bothersome. Respect for my parents had escalated rapidly in a span of one minute. I already admired them for their affection toward me amid their financial problems but knowing that they cared, even if they did not have to, made me have a high regard for them.
But I didn’t-
The door creaked noisily, breaking the deadly silence and snapping me out of my contemplation. As the figures of my parents ambled towards me, I no longer saw them as blood relatives but as my saviour angels. My gratitude for them burst in the form of tears. They immediately embraced me and coaxingly soothed me.
“It’s okay Cheryl; It doesn’t change ANYTHING. ” whispered mum.
“You’re not an orphan; you have your mum and me.” Said dad
My heart remained unchanged but my brain was highlighting the obvious point- That I have no REAL parents. Consciously, I wanted to act in a different manner, in a way that would help my parents, a way where I am meant not trouble them anymore.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“CHERYL! Wake up! You have to go to school!” shouted mom as she industriously applied her make-up, as always.
“I’m already up.” I replied whilst sluggishly ruffling around my bed.
My head instantly became attentive as I replayed yesterday’s event. I recollected the times where I constantly bothered my mother, yet she took it even though she knew all along. It felt very wrong to obey my mum because usually-
“What! You’re up!?” she said wide-eyed.
-I never do what I am told.
As I pulled my hair into a ponytail, my mum looked worried. She gently sat on my bed.
“Are you feeling okay Cheryl?” She spoke whilst idly playing with an unravelled string of my quilt cover.
I found myself smiling.
“Oh, so you don’t want me to do what I am told now?” I retorted.
The creases on her forehead smoothed as her face softened.
“Seriously mom, don’t worry. I’m fine.”
Why wouldn’t I be? Right?
I just wanted to block everything that would or could happen inside the house. Restraining myself to act mature and calm proved too much for me. I just wanted to go outside, to school or whatever. So I hurriedly grabbed my bag and flew out of the house without eating breakfast.
As I walked in solitude, the warmth unexpectedly disappeared. The wind started whip through the trees as the thunder crackled. I paid no attention to it knowing that the weather in Australia was twisted. it never lived up to the forecast; Rain poured in summer and the sun scorched in winter; on some days anyway. I was seriously considering rearranging the names of the seasons in different months.
“Ahh.. Another change in the weather I see” said a familiar voice. As I came to a halt my heart rushed as I knew who it was- the one person who understood everything about me, my best friend- Natasha.
“Tasha!” I cried and thrust into her open warm hands. Her eyes lit upon seeing me. She wore Unlike me she was prepared for the weather. It had been the whole summer holidays and not once did I get to see her as she went to France. We had obviously been in contact through the phone and internet but there’s nothing like real life.
After releasing her from my clutches, i said “I’ve missed you, you idiot.”
Grinning, she said with a fake sigh “I know, it’s hard not to.”
I found myself smiling and for a while the tugging feeling at the pit of my stomach became immobile.
Until I had to think
Hey! I don’t have that tugging feeling anymore.
And, of course, I immediately regretted thinking as it started again.
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